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diana_coman: !o uptime
ossabot: diana_coman: time since my last reconnect : 5d 8h 37m
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-05 12:26:16 shrysr: well i see that. But i am confused abt one thing > why do ppl in chan have jobs for bread ?
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 03:01:19 mircea_popescu: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log/trilema/2019-09-06#1934254 << i think there's so much shame / self-loathing necessarily (and, for that matter, correctly) naturally associated by the mind with leaving here, i dinf it unsurprising dudes leave quietly.
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-06 21:30:29 asciilifeform: i wonder whether in fact died. left without any goodbye -- and his www is frozen exactly as it was
diana_coman: re answers owed/pending questions do note that everything with a "?" is by definition a question, yes? You don't get to decide silently and on your own that some are and some aren't questions, just like that. If anything, there possibly are some sentences without "?" and STILL questions for you, that's the mindset when re-reading.
shrysr: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log/ossasepia/2019-09-07#1001474 I agree with the explanation of P/e/W/d in the thread. actually aware of 'P' being the driving factor - and my efforts are typically to reduce P to the extent possible below e... not only for 'team', but mostly driven for myself so as to make time for other interesting things both relatd to and non-related to mind (right from within mine hours and
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 03:54:41 diana_coman: shrysr: re http://logs.ossasepia.com/log/ossasepia/2019-09-05#1001274 you should read this thread : http://logs.ossasepia.com/log/trilema/2019-09-07#1934487
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-05 12:26:16 shrysr: well i see that. But i am confused abt one thing > why do ppl in chan have jobs for bread ?
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 03:01:19 mircea_popescu: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log/trilema/2019-09-06#1934254 << i think there's so much shame / self-loathing necessarily (and, for that matter, correctly) naturally associated by the mind with leaving here, i dinf it unsurprising dudes leave quietly.
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-06 21:30:29 asciilifeform: i wonder whether in fact died. left without any goodbye -- and his www is frozen exactly as it was
shrysr: extending outside). Ofc there are several cases it is not possible. I've particularly steered clear of such 'profiles' and work... to the extent identified by talking to ppl and personal up-front observation of others in said work + similar evaluations of other work. In fact - progression in current field - atleast in Canada will take me exactly towards such profiles - which is why I am avoiding the
shrysr: 'closest point' or apparently 'easiest' option of 'similar' salt-mine shfit. This is in response to blindspot in current field. Re: blindspots of field switch - yes. entirely possible. However - the general nature of 'data science' is still such that there are several indications it can be rectified if so, while still solving problems as
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-05 12:49:17 diana_coman: given what you said above re 100k/year and what you think it means, I suggest you also focus on the tradeoffs for every "gain" you see, because that part seems to be a total blindspot for you so far.
shrysr: described in the post of choosing data science. In addition - just as important (today) - is it is likely every skill i learn in 'data analytics/science' will still be useful when i reach eulora.
shrysr: *non-related to salt-mine*
shrysr: When i say progression in similar-to-current mine takes me in direction of exponentially increasing P - i mean that atleast in India - there were options to avoid that path and still progress. Here - I don't see those options. It is what it is.
shrysr: also - i can see what is meant by shame and self-loathing. I view this as a problem to solve which is why i'm still here and didn't silently exit..(it did in fact occur to me and was tempting) - fwiw it was *immediately* clear that wd be a black orc act *only* considering what I've received in a short space of 2 months (compared to years of being alive). Perhaps I am also somewhat fortunate : i'm not in
shrysr: any financial debt, and have no family to support and always had a lot of 'nervous' 'energy' to give to 'optimising decisons' rather than getting tired of thinking. That being said - the situation at current mine is likely worse than i describe. I have a growing suspicion that extra drive/support is being provided to my project so that they can promptly fire me when it reaches a slightly better or
shrysr: functional stage. After all i did them the favor of finding a solution costing them 1000$/year and am (close to) implementing it to resolve a large range of their time+effort issues (which they seem to have realised partially) and they pay me 50 X ERP cost. which fwiw is still atleast 30% (conservative estimate) less than the 'market rate'. not insensible business decision, especially when business is low.
diana_coman: shrysr: that sounds like "more urgent", not necessarily "worse", ahem.
diana_coman: http://logs.ossasepia.com/log/ossasepia/2019-09-07#1001489 - in what sense "tempting"? as in "easy route to take" or how?
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 12:55:43 shrysr: also - i can see what is meant by shame and self-loathing. I view this as a problem to solve which is why i'm still here and didn't silently exit..(it did in fact occur to me and was tempting) - fwiw it was *immediately* clear that wd be a black orc act *only* considering what I've received in a short space of 2 months (compared to years of being alive). Perhaps I am also somewhat fortunate : i'm not in
shrysr: yea easy route to take... disappear and not take the effort to vocalize / communicate. and yea, urgent is more appropriate. Worse was meant that in most 'decent' companies - they wd value the human being atleast a little better, i.e more aspects than usual against me here. not only am i 'more educated'/ 'sophisticated'/ 'never gave a fuck abt farming / fishing /hunting' but i have other characteristics
shrysr: like not yapping all day like these idiots seem to do. I believe there are similarities in the USA...for eg when i talk to boss or others - i shd start with how difficult it was to get up and brush my teeth etc etc etc to current point in time. Perhaps include some bits from last week or last year.
diana_coman: well, good for you on not taking the easy route.
diana_coman: as to the environment, the trouble is that moving to the bigger town is not all that likely to change people all that substantially
diana_coman: ie if you are living among one specific type of orcs, it'll still be among that type of orcs with all their characteristics.
diana_coman: shrysr: what's actually your status re papers anyway? do you have canadian and/or uk citizenship or only visa or what?
shrysr: well if you have a real tmsr island - i'll pack up and migrate wherever it is! Actually, i've been told by the proper humans here, that this town in particular contains the worst 'breed of ppl' bordering on inbred bullshit.. and generally is *not* this.... well crazy/irrational whateva for lack of better word.
diana_coman: shrysr: I suppose you should at the very least take one weekend off and go talk to people in calgary or whatever the bigger closest town was.
diana_coman: shrysr: tmsr "island" as you call it is wherever tmsr people are, by definition, no?
diana_coman: or what, if it's not in the middle of the sea with all attendant problems then it doesn't count? need a bit more penance again?
shrysr: probably worth mentioning - the few 'humans' are hourly wage laborers i worked with during first 5 months. SOme of them even business owners in the past... well over 40-50 years of age n so on and certainly bright even without comparing to other local (black) orcs. I'd actually be happy working with em you know.. like i said - i worked into their good books and they are almost the only sane convo i get..
shrysr: .. they infact 'get' signifcantly more than the owners! its a wonderful 'specimen' of a company as such... even my dad admits (not too frequently so as to not depress me entirely). I rem at first and 2nd salt-mine i used to read the Harvard Business Review HBR magazine and used to reflect - how is it that with all this collective 'wisdom' - almost nothing is done the way they describe (even by educated
shrysr: high and mighty MBA folx) and yet these companies are *not* 'dying'.
diana_coman: shrysr: generally because they are dead already; but it's probably a long way for that to fully make sense to you atm.
diana_coman: as to MBA "high and mighty" lololol.
shrysr: my status is that of 'permanent resident'....as good as citizen without voting or secret government security clearance type jobs or something... can start my business or work for anybody anywhere. ha! i'm willing to undertake penance for tmsr i guess... i've done so for far less as you've seen.. sometimes i wonder if it was a perverse childish pleasure to rebel and fight. The 'approach' in the movie 'fight
shrysr: club' was actually appealing to me. In a way - i hope you know that talking itself is a kind of penance for me. its like the words have to be changed till the meaning is close enough before i hit enter or open my mouth and somedays... they dont get as close as 'desired'. I guess its become slightly better as i've grown. It wasnt always like this i'm told.... as a child it seemed i wd talk to anybody on the
shrysr: street and i'm told at one point i 'changed'....
diana_coman: shrysr: do you yourself remember the "change" at all? (but yes, it's very possible and even likely, there are stages of development really)
shrysr: i have mostly disgust for MBA folx as such.... which has increased as experience increased. the only benefit i see is that it seems to pay a lot more right from the start... also costs a lot to get it, but if you can scrape through that - you atleast start saving a lot right from the start.
diana_coman: shrysr: sure, it's basically "the more you prove that you are invested in our nonsense ie you are "one of us", the more fodder we distribute to you"
diana_coman: but the cost of being more and more "one of them" is being less of yourself...
diana_coman: re talking, if it's any help, I probably get it more than you think (I still remember full months when I barely spoke a few words per day); but for this very reason I can tell you now that you should still talk.
shrysr: i believe there were stages... i also believe i've identified atleast some critical points. lol... i dont know if you really wanna hear all that.
diana_coman: shrysr: re saving, honestly, re-read the part re bitcoin stash; no matter how small, it *still* beats the shit out of fiat-saving of any sort (and even without going into real inflation as opposed to claimed inflation)
shrysr: fiat ?
diana_coman: shrysr: atm I need to go but I'll read
shrysr: re: hearing all that.. i donno. i guess its a part of submission. i'm not embarassed per se.... but it seems like a lot to say.
diana_coman: shrysr: fiat is short for "fiat currency" aka government (central authority) backed; in practical terms, just about any currency you know, except bitcoin
diana_coman will bbl
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 14:38:43 shrysr: re: hearing all that.. i donno. i guess its a part of submission. i'm not embarassed per se.... but it seems like a lot to say.
diana_coman: shrysr: that "meshing" from CFD sounds precisely part of "computer graphics" modelling.
diana_coman: and customising via python scripting ...Blender! basically if you change a few words in there, you'd be talking about blender and graphics for computer games instead of cfd.
diana_coman: except you don't need computer clusters really, ha; basically you have all the advantages but few (if any) of the downsides; note that the strict specialisation (compartmentalization as you call it) is more of a modern-day disease than specific to cfd eng domain as such.
diana_coman: re money /starter jobs it's true though that graphics is unlikely to work.
diana_coman: !o uptime
ossabot: diana_coman: time since my last reconnect : 0d 0h 0m
diana_coman: !o uptime
ossabot: diana_coman: time since my last reconnect : 0d 0h 4m
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 16:52:22 diana_coman: http://logs.ossasepia.com/log/ossasepia/2019-09-07#1001522 - how/what do you mean by "a lot to say"?
ossabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 14:38:43 shrysr: re: hearing all that.. i donno. i guess its a part of submission. i'm not embarassed per se.... but it seems like a lot to say.
lobbes: >> the others tend to misunderstand or 'judge' - and so this is not a blog post, and will not be published per se.
lobbes: I get this reasoning (yes, they do misunderstand and judge) and it isn't my place to tell you what to do, but I recently "let go" of such fears and I must say it is liberating/empowering.
lobbes: Sure I know that some of my family would be "mortified" to hear me call my late father a "coward". But from my eye, that just tells me that they aren't really vested in my health after all; it "weeds out the unworthy" as cold as that may sound.
lobbes: Likewise, I felt like I perhaps shared *too* much even after my post on exploring the bdsm lifestyle (to even the audience of tmsr lol). But as time has passed I know that I have these things to reflect on for my OWN benefit if anything. But again, I can only offer my own perspective here; I'm not your teacher after-all, just another student if anything
shrysr: lobbes: bdsm lifestyle! I thought that was kindda restricted to during sex? eg of lifestyle ??
lobbes: lol, well I should disclaim that I am a mega-n00b on THAT subject as well, but it is a very layered field of study indeed. Sure, many (most perhaps) who engage in such activities limit it to just sex. Still, others live it 24/7.
lobbes: The best e.g. I could give re: the lifestyle would be mircea_popescu himself. When I first started reading the logs in 2014, I subscribed to the theory that he MUST be a "bourbaki" of sorts, because how else could one man seemingly be reading, processing, talking in seemingly a 100 places at once.
lobbes: Over time I realized that this wasn't too far from the truth, except it was one man and his harem of highly intelligent and well-selected slavegirls. Go figure!
lobbes: But anyway, that is a huge rabbit hole on its own. I dun wanna distract you too much here lol
shrysr: lol
shrysr: http://blog.lobbesblog.com/2019/08/on-relationships-or-how-pretense-kills/#selection-387.362-387.465 hehe i used to think of it as a strength. It helped me separate the pain and put it in front of me to attack.. or to forget and work... more frequently the latter. however my concl is that it can easily become unproductive overall if not 'controlled' in a very strict manner..... not that I've followed said
shrysr: statement maself.
shrysr: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log/ossasepia/2019-09-07#1001528 << yes. i believe they are quite similar in concept. I believe blender or some other softwares were used for the animation purpose of CFD...iirc. the in built animation in CFD softwares used to suck. I recall being intimidated by software like photoshop and blender... never got around that. Corel Draw was probably more intuitive but I was never an
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 17:30:35 diana_coman: shrysr: that "meshing" from CFD sounds precisely part of "computer graphics" modelling.
shrysr: expert in that stuff. I did know basic animation using flash a long time ago in school i guess. lol.
shrysr: the closest i guess i came to graphics was with my masters thesis... using a software called sculptor - they used something called arbitrary shape deformation (ASD) and NURBS to deform geometries i.e meshes and create quick variations of geometry instead of completely remeshing for each change. i used to find meshing very challenging...kindda hated that part of the whole process, then slowly became
shrysr: somewhat decent with it with help. i;d blame the tools... but i know it was me.
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 13:50:21 diana_coman: shrysr: tmsr "island" as you call it is wherever tmsr people are, by definition, no?
shrysr: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log/ossasepia/2019-09-07#1001503 efforts have started in this direction. I have listed companies nearby and am trying to build a composite of profiles they seek and align my shit to theirs. digging up contacts too.
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 13:48:34 diana_coman: shrysr: I suppose you should at the very least take one weekend off and go talk to people in calgary or whatever the bigger closest town was.
shrysr: http://logs.nosuchlabs.com/log/ossasepia/2019-09-05#1001373 lotsa things... beyond insects and creepy crawlies... I think dying without having done any meaningful work. Of late it has been shifting to doing something in time for my parents to see and feel happy about. not that they arent...in general...(except my job here ofc, based on my own ranting)... but aligned with my own definition of meaningful.
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-05 18:04:48 diana_coman: shrysr: so.... what scares you most? :D
shrysr: Maybe most afraid of running out of time to fix the repurcussions of errors.
shrysr: Not that i have a clear definition of meaningful. I guess make stuff that others can use... good original work. I have a vague idea that eulora is quite aligned to this in a better way than I had originally imagined (which was more like contributing to open source code... packages...and the like)
shrysr: i always used to think that a 'concept' of google's adwords --- was nice as in - it earned revenue, without much manual meddling on their partiirc it was a good portion of revenue though dwindling of late. ofc i hate the ads, but essentially some kindda engine that I cd build that makes money... and the building would the labor of love / intelligence... and the money earned shd atleast be enough for decent
shrysr: pocket money (eventually). I guess eulora does that? I've played games like age of empires and sim city - but here the difference is that it is based on bitcoin?
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-07 14:21:37 diana_coman: shrysr: re saving, honestly, re-read the part re bitcoin stash; no matter how small, it *still* beats the shit out of fiat-saving of any sort (and even without going into real inflation as opposed to claimed inflation)
snsabot: Logged on 2019-09-03 18:52:24 diana_coman: so if you want to save, simply buy any bitcents you can and keep your key+wallet safe, that's pretty much it; and ftr if "no money for any bitcents", your best bet is probably playing eulora anyway.
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