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diana_coman: BingoBoingo, from what I see, your Montevideo Standard and/or video exploration is working well for you and I'm glad for it but since your focus is naturally there entirely, it seems to me you are better off as former member of yhc rather than in that hopefuls category; is this alright with you?
jfw: I was thinking about this why snowflakes, so far just came up with: "because pretense appears cheaper/easier than actually becoming an individual"
sonofawitch: 2020-06-03 22:24:21 (#ossasepia) diana_coman: not all that strange if you think of *why* is it so all-important, heh
jfw: diana_coman: not sure if you caught this admittedly belated update given "welcome back to the summaries". Now to make 'em actually daily...
diana_coman: jfw I did catch them but yeah, they didn't seem quite all that regular/daily, heh
jfw: gotcha.
diana_coman: jfw re snowflake, that's already secondary, not in any way a cause of the focus as such
diana_coman: and for that matter in general - nobody ever gets offended by words that don't touch some real sore spot; nor does anyone obsess over matters that are already sorted and taken care of for reals.
BingoBoingo: diana_coman: That is ok with me.
diana_coman: jfw it's not as much that the pretense seems easier - it's more that there isn't much else left within the boundaries that they chose already - or alternatively, it's more that the actual being terrifies to such extent that it seems outright impossible; and the terror gets papered over with ever-louder chanting that "it's great as it is!!"
diana_coman: and sure, it's also just one result of a long string of previous choices (sometimes choices made unknowingly, sure, not less choices made for that)
diana_coman: so indeed, it is way, way easier to pretend given all the lack of exercise at being accumulated previously
diana_coman: this doesn't make it work any better, nor does it make more important nor a better choice
diana_coman: basically the pretense by that point is the easy and even "strategy" - to the extent that you'd call a river's flowing towards next lowest point a "strategy", since it's quite that, simply lowest effort in the moment
diana_coman: even natural "strategy" * (not sure why I keep skipping words lately)
jfw: easier to say you're where you want to be than to paddle back upstream once you've missed it.
diana_coman: hm, not even as much that; it's more like this - the lack of being is perceived and it gnaws terribly; for all that, there aren't any resources to be able to even realise that "paddling upstream is needed" or anything of the sort; so appease fear, what is left but talking loudly
diana_coman: hence my earlier choice of word "chanting" because to some extent it's quite that - a ritual for lack of any better.
diana_coman: for that matter, the same mechanism applies and is obvious to even way simpler things - I lost count how many teenagers "lacking confidence for the exams" I saw; how could they have any confidence armed as they were with a... set of rules of which they understood ~nothing; sure, they had all the words that "it's good" and "well done" and great marks and all that but they were too alive to not
diana_coman: notice (even if without being able to explain it/ put it into words) the trouble
diana_coman: the "cure" being in each and every case, sitting them down and getting them to actually make sense for the first time of whatever it was, the tiniest bit to start with; works wonders.
jfw: like memorizing formulas without seeing how they're derived or proven? which is what I noticed was mostly happening around early teens
diana_coman: heh, worse - "learning" by having gone through a set of known problems with known steps-to-solve; basically pattern-matching, all of it.
diana_coman: coming back round to why is it so all-important that everyone is a special and unique snowflake - precisely because it's an important thing that is lost/given up.
sonofawitch: 2020-06-03 22:24:21 (#ossasepia) diana_coman: not all that strange if you think of *why* is it so all-important, heh
jfw: not quite seeing the "worse" re pattern-matching: isn't that just what a formula is? "given this problem, follow these steps"
diana_coman: ah, "formula" in my head stands literally for something like F=m*a lol; not a full algorithm basically; but yes, if you meant "given this problem, follow these steps" then indeed, that.
jfw: indeed I meant it as an example then it generalized.
jfw: thanks for the explain!
diana_coman: yw

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