whaack: diana_coman: if you're around today I'd like to discuss my desire to become active in YH again.
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diana_coman: whaack - I'm around as usual, sure; what's on your mind?
whaack: diana_coman: There's a lot on my mind but essentially I badly want to go back to making an effort to make "the right move at every juncture." I also miss engaging with the people in here and having a project to work on.
diana_coman: whaack - so what's stopping you? not like I hold anyone back from engaging or contributing, am I.
whaack: diana_coman: Only "my own worst enemy" lol
diana_coman: how's that building otc network going?
whaack: diana_coman: it's not going, I've really been up to ~nothing except learning some flashy flamenco hand movements and scales
whaack: i'm working on an article right now on muscle control/isolation so I can at least publish something interesting i've learned.
diana_coman: whaack - did you keep up that daily guitar practice, only not writing the logs up or not publishing them or what?
whaack: diana_coman: My blog is only missing 5 practice logs, but it's been 17 days. I've been practicing but I stopped keeping the practices structured.
diana_coman: didn't the structure help or why?
whaack: the structure helped tremendously. stopping the organized practices was some form of militant stupidity or something, idk
whaack: the other concept that I learned from trilema/younghands - always looking for the upstream problems, has helped a lot as well
diana_coman: I bet it did, lol
whaack: for example, I learned I needed to isolate control of my muscles, so I thought "hm - what is the real problem with my technqiue. It's not that I can't make this or that sound. That is a symptom. THe problem is I don't know how to properly control my muscles" so then I read a book about muscle control, unrelated to playing music,
diana_coman: that sounds like looking for causes and closer to root
whaack: diana_coman: anyways I've also been thinking about something you said I never responded to which was basically that there's no reason to have a distinction between fun & what one needs to do
diana_coman: aha; what came out of that thinking then?
whaack: I remember reading a time ago some book or article (i forget the source) that had this quote ~ "a gentleman will pay for the privilege to be in command a horse drawn chariot. but if instead the gentleman is paid to do the same he'll consider it work and won't want to do it."
whaack: And I remember when I read I thought to myself "yes, I am like that too."
diana_coman: lol, what, having all the troubles with none the means?
diana_coman: sure, I know the sort of thing you mean - in plain terms it's called tripping over yourself, really.
whaack: But thinking on what you said and reflecting on how I feel now and how I felt when I was more active in yh I think that the mentality of "doing other things than what needs to be done because they're more fun or because what needs to be done is categorized as 'work' and 'work'='bad'" is again militant stupidity
whaack: diana_coman: what do you mean by all the troubles with none the means?
diana_coman: all the troubles of late-time/already-degenerate "gentlemen" (because the term like that without clear anchoring in time means ~nothing at all)
diana_coman: with none of their means to afford them, at least
diana_coman: you know, by that standard Oscar Wilde was very much the gentleman, I suppose he could /did even outdo them since he set his mind to it; onth I doubt e.g. Sir Burton would have given him much "gentleman".
diana_coman: and that keeping it roughly similar time and space, at least
whaack: I think the purpose of the word gentlemen in that (mis)quote is that the person can afford to not be paid. I am not connecting myself w/ someone in that position, I am only connecting with "label something as work, and stupid me tries to avoid it"
diana_coman: whaack - anyway, getting back to present day and yourself: yes, it's quite militant stupidity and at any rate it's certainly not helping you any.
diana_coman: ah, then it was too lofty a quote, lol; there's more there than just "work" but anyways, no need to fully go that rabbit hole right now, let it be a detour for another time perhaps.
whaack: right, and to be clear as to why I think it's militant stupidity - it is that not only do I fall behind in personal development, productivity, $$, whatever - I also am having less fun
diana_coman: good that you are honest enough to admit it.
diana_coman: whaack - is there something specific you are interested in atm?
whaack: diana_coman: tbh nothing jumps to mind
whaack: I've been thinking though that I need to write a post-mortem for TheFleet, going over why that project failed
diana_coman: whaack - for how long have you been thinking that you need to etc?
whaack: since about the time I started the guitar practice logs
diana_coman: whaack - why didn't you just do it?
diana_coman: you know, if you think that I need to read that or it "has to be done" or something of the sort - the answer is no, on both counts.
diana_coman: whaack - do you know why and how it failed?
whaack: no, it was for myself not for you
whaack: and it was to answer that question of "how and why it failed" . I am not sure I know the answer.
whaack: I'm not sure why I didn't reengage but I think it was because I was afraid that I would fade away again, and I still have that concern although only slightly really
diana_coman: what can I say; on the face of it, a post-mortem sounds sensible indeed, except there's no reason why it couldn't have been done by now if it was indeed pressing and therefore the conclusion is that it's not pressing, so it can wait as it already did, not much difference either way.
diana_coman: whaack - did you figure out why the fade away in the first place?
whaack: diana_coman: yes, related to the "living warning," if you will
diana_coman: whaack - well, pick yourself a deadline for that post-mortem if you actually want to do it and do it; or let me know if you don't want all that much to do it; either way we'll see from there.
whaack: diana_coman: alright. I'll have it done before Thursday the 25th of June.
diana_coman: sounds good.
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